When Christians Don’t Agree — Learning to Stand on Peaceful Land Together
A meeting of the Westminster Assembly on 21 February 1644; from Wikimedia Commons. Click on this link for annotations of those present at the meeting (Please note: the painting depicts many individuals who were not members of the Assembly, because when issues of particular interest were debated, non-members would attend as spectators).
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I spent the first six months of my son’s life trying to make him sleep in his crib. No matter how sound asleep he was, no matter what I did before laying him down, he woke up immediately or within the first twenty minutes after his body touched the mattress. During the night, I barely got two hours of sleep before he would wake up again.
“What if we tried the playpen?” my husband asked.
“That’s ridiculous,” I scoffed. “Why would he sleep any better in the playpen? It’s nowhere near as nice and comfortable as the crib. Besides, we bought this crib for him—I want him to sleep in it.”
One exhausting morning, after a number of attempts at laying my son down in his crib for his nap, I tried the playpen, as my husband had suggested. An hour and a half later—the longest nap he’d ever taken—my son woke up happy and rested.
I had persisted for six months in my frustrating endeavor. I laugh at myself now and wonder why I didn’t try my husband’s suggestion sooner. I was so determined to make my son sleep in the crib, that I resisted any suggestions that should do otherwise. I began to realize that the bigger issue wasn’t about crib versus playpen but rather my pride.
Pride can cause us to sin in our doctrinal differences with other believers.
We often struggle in our relationships with believers we disagree with. What if it’s because we’re hanging on so tightly to our disagreements that we are unwilling to find a peaceful place to stand together? What if we’ve become so focused on what separates us that we’ve forgotten the one thing that holds us all together and by which we will all enter eternity? How do we learn to stand on the peaceful grounds of the gospel together despite our differences?
We need to be able to identify first and secondary issues.
We can understand our differences with the categories of primary, secondary, and tertiary issues. Albert Mohler uses the helpful picture of theological triage to explain these concepts. He defines them as follows:
First-order theological issues: Essential doctrines to the Christian faith, such as the Trinity, the full deity and humanity of Jesus Christ, justification by faith alone, and the authority of Scripture.
Second-order theological issues: Doctrines that are non-essentials but still quite vital to worship, so they will likely prevent harmonious fellowship within the same congregation or denomination (although it’s not impossible). Examples are the meaning and mode of baptism, church leadership structures, and the regulative principle versus the normative principle of worship (e.g., Do we only include what the Bible commands in our worship services, or are we permitted to do whatever the Bible does not condemn in our worship services?).
Third-order theological issues: Doctrines over which Christians may disagree and yet remain in close fellowship, even within local congregations, such as eschatology (the study of end times).
Identifying where our differences lie can help give us wisdom in how to approach them. We can have conversations with one another on secondary and tertiary issues, but we can leave these conversations at peace, knowing we are each still saved by grace alone.
But when we are faced with first-level theological issues, this calls for more persistence and fervor—salvation is at the heart of these doctrines, and without a clear understanding of the gospel we are to proclaim we risk falling into heresy. First order issues call for kind boldness out of love for those we disagree with—lives are at stake. Second order issues also call for gentle and loving conversations, but persuasion isn’t as critical as when the truth of the gospel confronts us. With second and third-order issues, at the end of the conversation, we can peacefully stand on opposing sides, knowing we will find each other in eternal life.
We need patience and humility to wisely engage with different views.
As we acquire freedom by identifying the level of disagreement, patience is most definitely a virtue. We need patience, not only with the person who is slow to change, but also patience in God’s timing. He is ultimately the one who changes a person’s heart, and so he is the one we’re waiting on (in his good timing). We can discuss, argue, or tweet until our heads throb, but we will not be the ones to change anyone’s mind.
Consider our own stories: as our understanding of God and the Bible has grown along the way, we also have come to change some of our views in that growth process. The change wasn’t immediate, but piece by piece as the Holy Spirit revealed the truth to us in God’s Word. Were we changed by one single person? Were we changed by angry arguments? Were we changed through sarcasm and biting words? Or was it through a gentle working of the Spirit as we took the time to slowly dissect and meditate on Scripture?
We need to come with a spirit of gentleness, keeping watch on ourselves for our own faulty understanding.
Consider the patience of God with us as we have wrestled to come to the place we are theologically! Consider his patience even now, with all our sins and the things we still probably have wrong yet keep clenched in our fists! Why do we expect so much more of others when we ourselves are still so slow?
As we consider this patience of God, how can we be anything but patient with our brothers and sisters in Christ? And not only patient, but humble—maybe we still have it wrong. Or, in the least, we have been wrong. So we come with a spirit of gentleness, keeping watch on ourselves for our own faulty understanding (see Gal. 6:1-2).
Why should we even bother studying theological issues?
If we will each be found together in the new heavens and new earth despite our differences on secondary and tertiary issues, why bother studying theology? Why bother identifying as a Baptist, Presbyterian, Wesleyan, Calvinist, or Arminian? Why does any of this matter? Why do we have debates and piles of books written on these subjects? I have raised this question in my own mind secretly before, but never dared breathe it out loud. I’m passionate about theology. Could it actually all be useless?
I believe not. Studying the Bible and seeking to understand it as well as we can and make accurate interpretations as to how it applies to us is part of our maturation as believers. As we seek to apply and handle Scripture rightly, we grow—both in our minds and our hearts.
Furthermore, it is also a way we glorify God. We study these issues deeply because we want to glorify God best by obeying him as he intended us to do. No, our salvation doesn’t rely on whether we are Presbyterians or Baptists or Wesleyans—it relies on God’s work in us working through his Word. Yet, seeking to see through which lens God’s Word is most accurately described is a way in which we can bring glory to him.
Part of this study, for the best representation of God’s Word, involves not only looking to those with whom we identify, but to those we may not align with in all secondary and tertiary doctrines. In the conclusion of his book The Theology of the Westminster Standards, J. V. Fesko explains:
The Westminster divines were not only profoundly learned men, but also Reformed Catholics. They called insights from a broad spectrum of sources, including Patristic, medieval, Roman Catholic, Remonstrant, Rabbinic, philosophical, and Reformed authors. Divines such as William Twisse, the assembly’s first moderator, were quite knowledgeable of the writings of Aquinas, Duns Scotus, and a host of other medieval theologians.[1]
It is the gospel that unites us.
My son’s crib is currently taken apart and propped up against a wall in the basement. As I write this, he is snuggling in his playpen having a nap. Along with my pride, I have set aside this battle with a good conscience.
Could we do that too, for the sake of the gospel? Could we speak with one another kindly and patiently about things that risk dividing us and have loving and peaceful conversations? This doesn’t mean we need to worship under the same roof, but unity in the gospel means that we can love one another and labor together for the sake of the gospel. We can speak with charity and humility of one another. We can see areas in which we are thriving and we are lacking, all the while remembering Christ and his gospel that unites us when we cross paths.
The gospel gives us this patience and humility to disagree. Believe the gospel—because it’s only in the power of the Spirit and a new heart that we put off any of our pride. Remember the gospel—that we were saved from utter disbelief and foolishness. Rejoicing in our gospel hope—that we will all see Christ again and enter into his eternal rest, where all striving, disagreements, and anger will be done away with. Hold on to the gospel—by which we have been grafted into the growing family of God, and let it be the cord that binds us all in unity.
This article was originally published on April 16, 2020.
Related Articles:
Christian Basics: What Are the Five “Alones” and Why Do You Need to Know Them?
10 Facts You Need to Know about the Reformation (Rumors and Legends Dispelled)
10 Words Every Christian Should Know (and Be Able to Explain)
Got Peace Right Now? 7 Things You Need to Know About Your Justification in Christ
8 Covenants in the Bible and What They Mean for You Personally Today
Recommended:
The Theology of the Westminster Standards: Historical Context and Theological Insights by J. V. Fesko
Notes:
[1] J. V. Fesko, The Theology of the Westminster Standards (Wheaton: Crossway, 2014), 395.
