Keeping Godly Focus in Singleness
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The world seems to generally look at singleness as a time to focus on oneself: Do all the fun, irresponsible, or adventurous things while you are single. Don't miss out. Be carefree and careless. Or, on the reverse side, use your singleness as the time to get ahead financially or career-wise. Don't get married until you have established your career and use this time to focus on those important financial goals. Marriage can wait—get financially ahead or become financially successful in life.
Unmarried people have an important place in God's family.
For Christians both aspects of self-focus fall far short of the blessedness that God has in store for single people. Unfortunately, in Christian circles singleness is often seen as the incomplete stage of someone's life. The questions "Are you seeing anyone?" "When are you going to find a wife/husband?" and "Are you interested in anyone?" send the clear message that a single Christian's life is lacking.
Scripture uses the term single and unmarried when referring to individuals who do not have a wife or husband, but the singleness is not such that renders the individual without connection to others. They are unmarried, yet still connected to the family of God. As such, they are a vital part of God's community and have an important place in God's family, utilizing their specific gifts to bless the church and be blessed by the church:
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Eph. 4:15-16)
Like all Christians, the unmarried Christian's focus ought to be on serving God as he or she serves God's people and aids in the building of Christ's kingdom by furthering the spread of the gospel of Christ.
Unmarried people have the opportunity to make a far-reaching impact through many avenues of service in the local and broader church.
Unmarried men and women don't always have more "free" time, but because their responsibilities are different, the "free" time that they may have can be used in a different variety of ways than a married person's. The unmarried person may be more accessible to serve in certain ways than a married person, who may or may not have children.
Because of their different situation in life, unmarried people's service can be a huge blessing to their fellow brothers and sisters. Are you an unmarried man or woman who is gifted in outdoor labor? Perhaps this allows you to lend a hand to an older couple in your church, using your strength to help them out in their weaknesses with landscaping or yard work.
Are you an unmarried man or woman who is good with children? Perhaps there is a family that could use an "uncle" or "aunt" in Christ as a role model and friend to younger children. Are you an unmarried man or woman with organizational skills, planning skills, or ideas for church ministry? Often the church has worthy ideas, but it is low in man-power to implement them as many of the church members may be busy with family responsibilities or are limited by elderly concerns.
The state of being unmarried is a blessing from God.
Unmarried Christian men and women are blessed by God to be in the state of life in which he has placed them. He has blessed them with the opportunity to pour themselves in unique ways into Christ's body (1 Cor. 7:33-74). They have the opportunity to make a far-reaching impact through many avenues of service in the local and broader church. Let us then encourage and value our unmarried brothers and sisters, seeing their situation in life not as a state of incompleteness or self-indulgence but instead as a blessing from God.
