Being Careful with Our Feelings
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We have to be careful with our feelings. Some of them can lead us astray, but it can be just as troublesome when we lack feelings, especially for others. Two examples from Scripture can help, though.
The first example comes from an event in David’s life when his anger nearly destroyed him. The second is from the life of Jesus as related by the apostle Paul. Though focused on only two types of feelings—anger and empathy—each of these biblical lessons help us to better understand how our feelings may be used for good instead of for evil.
Strong emotions can lead us to commit grievous sin.
First, David. Chapter 25 of First Samuel relates the story of David, Nabal, and Nabal’s wife, Abigail. When David sent his men to Nabal for food and drink, Nabal foolishly insulted David and turned his men away empty-handed. When David heard what had happened, he quickly became angry—his emotion of anger led him to gather four hundred of his men with their weapons in order to go and destroy Nabal and his male servants.
David’s strong feelings resulting from his anger overtook him and led him to desire vengeance and murder. Rather than being in control of his actions, David succumbed to his feelings and emotions, and were it not for Abigail, Nabal’s wife, David would have destroyed himself by committing murder springing up from his feelings of having been offended by the fool Nabal. (See also Jesus’ teaching about anger and murder in Matthew 5:21-22.)
David’s feelings went out of control, but Abigail was used by God to bring him to his senses.
Instead, Abigail went out to meet David and try to turn away his terrible anger. Humbling herself and bringing gifts and words of wisdom to David, Abigail turned his anger to gratitude for saving him from the guilt of unjustly shedding the blood of others. David’s feelings went out of control, but Abigail was used by God to bring him to his senses.
Likewise, we should guard ourselves from letting feelings resulting from anger or other negative emotions lead us into sinful actions. And we should listen to others who have the courage to bring us to our senses when our feelings might run amok. Remember, just as Jesus taught, small bouts of angry feelings can explode into violence, so make it a matter of prayer and a habit to guard against feelings of outrage and hostility.
Instead of allowing feelings from anger to get the worst of us, consider the example of Jesus. Paul writes to the Philippians,
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Phil. 2:3-4)
Becoming better aware of the feelings of others will lead us to be more sensitive to their needs and interests.
Notice how the command in Philippians 2:3-4 is to focus on others—on their feelings and needs rather than our ourselves. This is key to helping manage our feelings for good rather than bad. When we look to the interests of others, we become much more aware of their needs and of their feelings and emotions. Being more sensitive to others and their needs expresses itself in love, which is essentially the giving up of ourselves for the betterment of another person.
This is what Jesus did when he gave up the glory of heaven to take on human flesh for our salvation. He "emptied himself” and took on the "form of a servant” (Phil. 2:7). He “humbled himself” by become one of us, and he "became obedient," even dying on our behalf (Phil. 2:8).
We should make every effort to emulate these examples Jesus demonstrated for us. Begin by considering other’s feelings more than your own. No doubt this is what Paul means when he writes, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). Empathize with the feelings and emotions of others and by the grace of God you will more and more become the loving friend we all need.
This article was originally featured in Beautiful Christian Life’s March 2024 monthly newsletter.
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